informations complémentaires par rapport au film "I Want My Sex Back: Transgender people who regretted changing sex (RT Documentary)"

Texte en anglais de la vidéo "I Want My Sex Back: Transgender people who regretted changing sex (RT Documentary)"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pxxBQm114k

 

 

"so the Lord God and caused the man to 

 

 

fall into a deep sleep and while he was 

sleeping he took one of the man's ribs 

and then closed up the place with flesh 

I was born a male I started living as a 

female when I was 19 years old had a see 

change when I was 30 years old I've now 

been living as a woman for 28 years and 

I fully regret this nobody can change 

genders it's impossible it's delusional 

it's a mental illness then the Lord God 

made a woman from the rib he had taken 

out of the man and he brought her to the 

man once I finally had the surgery I 

went out this was the wrong thing to do 

it was the wrong thing to do to cut off 

my male anatomy 

1mn 05 

the man said this is now bone of my   

bones and flesh of my flesh she shall be 

called woman for she was taken out of 

man that is why a man leaves his father 

and mother and is united to his wife and 

they become one flesh the fact of the 

matter is the 40% of people who are 

attempting suicide are people who regret 

ever changing genders 

I cut my lawn for right there around 4 

o'clock and to get up but usually I wake 

02mn 

up beforehand it's as though God just 

wakes me up I read the Bible and then I 

pray and then I try to be still and 

listen for his voice his guidance 

hi my name is Billy Burley and living 

here in Lompoc in this house and I used 

to work for NASA y'all come on in and 

let me show you all around the house a 

little bit so the weather over here in 

Lompoc is exceptional we don't have 

air-conditioned over here and so we keep 

the doors and windows open for a good 

bit throughout the year 

I was a skinny little introverted kid 

03mn 

had a speech impediment and tried to 

talk but a lot of people didn't 

understand me 

my body told me that I belong with the 

boys but my thoughts my mind was saying 

and that I belong with the girls and I 

didn't know which way to go want it to 

be like my sisters I thought I shouldn't 

be like my sisters and when my older 

sisters started wearing makeup I started 

playing with some of her makeup I in the 

bathroom and then in the sixth grade 

when I was on the summer league routine 

and we had a new diving coach well what 

he would do is when he had a chance he 

would play with me and he would fondle 

04mn 

me and try to get and get me to have an 

erection and just continue to play with 

me chromoly I'm gonna have to shut you 

into a room and can we pause for just a 

moment come on Camille let's get you 

into a room back here you are gonna keep 

moving around come on quiet bad dog bad 

dog hold one moment I will try to 

silence the don't Dottie Dottie go lay 

down lay down go lay down first off my 

name is Renee jacks and I'm an author 

I've written eight books so far three of 

them to do with transsexuality I was 

born male 

grew up in a very conservative 

Republican family my father was pretty 

much absent most of my childhood he was 

05mn 

an alcoholic 

my mother was mentally ill the childhood 

was so troubled and so traumatic that in 

retrospect I was able to look at it and 

realized that there was no way I was 

getting out of childhood normal you go 

and you take a shower and you're there 

to get clean but every time I had to 

take off my clothes every time I went to 

bathe you know there's no getting around 

the fact that I wasn't a girl that I was 

a boy and that really is the one memory 

that sticks out is just how much I hate 

my penis hated my penis by the time I 

left high school when I was 18 I was 

cross-dressing most of the time once I 

was away from school and a couple years 

afterwards I ended up in San Francisco 

which had a very small gay community and 

06mn 

I started I had made the decision by the 

time I was about 20 to start living 

full-time as a girl 

when you start dating people and if you 

pass well enough the whole purpose is 

are you a transsexual or are you a woman 

and my in my mind I was always a woman 

I'm wanting to date and I'm not telling 

the men that I'm dating that I have a 

penis and so when they find out they 

become violent they there were a couple 

instances where I was beaten very badly -  

my mirror georgiyevich I'm a surgeon in 

urologist and I'm a leader of Belgrade 

Centre for genital reconstructed Rallo G 

our centre is very well known especially 

for transgender surgery and we perform 

all types of transgender surgery male to 

female female to male we do search with 

possible complications and one of the 

very very actual now reversal surgery in 

07mn 

regretful after one another one way in 

in transgender transformation we try 

always to to make it retail is to be 

first very functional and then to be 

more acceptable in a statical view if 

you discuss about male to female our 

results are much better why because in 

one surgery we create a completely 

normal female genitalia and this persons 

usually can have a sexual intercourse 

can enjoy in sexual activity according 

to our experience more than 90% 

transgender surgery starts to be a very 

popular for both persons doctors and you 

can you can find out too many drugs on 

this field oh I'm going to to make my 

genitals to be different like now and I 

will be very nice lady or I will be a 

very strong man or something like this 

and after that after some some event 

like alcohol or drug abuse or something 

08mn 

ladies you are awake from anesthesia 

with the new Katrina tailors the main 

milestone was finding a doctor who would 

give me the hormones if I get the 

hormones if female cross-sex hormones my 

life will be perfect and then you think 

well if I can only would get my voice 

get my male voice up here 

and that battle make me you know just 

happy and then you think the next thing 

is well if I can get breast implants 

that's all I need it's never enough 

and finally if you've gone through the 

therapy and you can convince a doctor to 

start cutting on you you go and you have 

a sex change I had my sex change in 1990 

and in the back of my mind I didn't 

think I thought it might be like all the 

other stuff I had done but I was hoping 

09mn 

just hoping that that would make me feel 

complete 

I don't want to get in there so why 

would you tell your neighbor that you 

did something that was so stupid 

it's absolutely ridiculous to tell a 

neighbor hey I was a transgender and 

I've D transition pretty embarrassing to 

go through a gender change to be that 

stupid to believe that you can actually 

change genders you got to be pretty bill 

equipped to handle the truth I was born 

in Los Angeles senator good family good 

people I was taken to my grandmother's 

house quite frequently as my parents 

like to go away on the weekend they like 

to camp and fish I somehow became 

interested at my grandma's house in 

10mn 

cross-dressing and I mentioned something 

to her 

about that so she decided to make me a 

purple dress and allow me to put it on 

and wear the dress 

I finally got so interested and excited 

about wearing the dress that I got tired 

of waiting til I was gonna go to 

Grandma's house to secretly crossdress 

so I snuck the dress home well my mom 

found the dress and so then dad got 

upset I was never allowed to go to 

Grandma's house again 

the first step was I changed my name 

secretly when I was about 13 years old 

to Crystal probably in my late 20s I 

started to talk to doctors about hormone 

therapy and I began to take hormone 

therapy 35 years ago there wasn't much 

information and we concluded that based 

on everything that was available at the 

time that undergoing hormone therapy 

further hormone therapy and gender 

reassignment surgery would be the answer 

11mn 

to resolve this quote gender identity 

disorder that's when I in April of 1983 

I underwent the gender reassignment 

surgery by doctor 

Biber in Trinidad Colorado it was 

amazing I felt like the world had been 

lifted from my shoulders and it was all 

really wonderful the only thing I don't 

know is was it all the medication from 

five hours of surgery that made me feel 

this way or was it because I had gone 

through the surgery because you're 

pretty heavily medicated my female name 

at the time was Laura Jensen 

lompoc is is a nice town and it's quiet 

12mn 

and it's small I was a little bit 

apprehensive going in into surgery but 

also a little excited to finally we're 

at this point and after going into 

surgery and then coming out of surgery 

and being in the elevator I asked 

somebody is it gone and they assured me 

that it was gone and I was very relieved 

I was losing a lot of blood through the 

surgical site 

what they did was kept putting gauze 

into my new vagina but I was excited I 

was excited that finally this is done 

this is now behind me so now we'll start 

my new life 

I never had the full ability to have 

intercourse because the the the vagina 

13mn 

that they make is so small so anytime I 

tried to have intercourse it was 

extremely painful and it wouldn't happen 

so these surgeries are nothing more than 

plastic surgery they they don't create 

the phalluses that they create for 

female to males are really hideous 

looking I've had several female to male 

friends and you look at it and you just 

go oh god you paid for that it's 

horrible the sex change didn't solve my 

discomfort the doctors who are honest 

will say that the gender dysphoria is 

always there and it's because the 

confusion is it's not so much it starts 

out being about your Anatomy but really 

what it's you don't like yourself 

being a freak in society being I call it 

14mn 

in my book a social pariah is not the 

way you want to live the isolation 

drives you to despair and so yeah 

suicide is a big big thing maybe 

yesterday I don't know the first time 

was right before the surgery in 1990 and 

the only thing that kept me from doing a 

quiet honest is I'm a coward at heart 

just was so deeply disturbed at the time 

I wondered in my life and somebody I 

knew had some cocaine so I attempted to 

use it to kill myself and it obviously 

didn't work but my heart was pounding so 

hard after I took it that I thought it 

was gonna come out of my chest 

15mn 

I feel safer having done that and not 

staying in one place very long where 

people might find out what I do and who 

I am I don't want people to know that 

around me I don't want to be outed by 

the people around me I was leaving 

church one day and on Sunday three four 

years ago now and I got a email that 

said I'm ready to commit suicide can you 

help me and it was a transgender who had 

lived the life transgender life for two 

or three years and was totally 

discouraged with it 

I was actually exchanging information 

and talking with him on some level up to 

five times a day to keep him from 

committing suicide he eventually 

restored his life he did the transition 

back this is my entire office right here 

my computer my desk my chair my slippers 

16mn 

and this is where I sit and work I don't 

need any more than this everything that 

I do is right here on the computer or on 

the phone talking to people 

I've D transitioned now for 25 years 

little longer and so it was when I D 

transitioned that everything began to 

make sense to me and when I realized 

that how important it was to D 

transition to become psychologically 

emotionally and socially a healthy 

person that I wanted others who wanted 

to D transition to have a way to come 

back to that same experience that I have 

and if they have regret and want to D 

transition I've built a website for them 

sex change regret com 

how are you yeah we're doing we're doing 

17mn 

good 

Billie contacted me by email like most 

people do and we began to exchange 

information and I talked to him on the 

phone 

his story was just like mine he was 

sexually abused I was sexually abused 

and that was kind of the trigger point 

of changing genders come on kid come on 

come get you clothes on 

seven years after transitioning to woman 

a woman I started thinking okay I've 

been doing this for seven years now my 

problem should have gone away from by 

now but they hadn't and I actually had 

more problems at that point 

another problem it's just trying to pass 

18mn 

and trying to do my hair just right 

trying to do my makeup just right trying 

to look just right to where people would 

not be uncomfortable because you can see 

when people identify you as being 

transgendered I was like this isn't life 

nothing has really changed 

I'm still struggling I was better off as 

I was before the surgery before the 

hormone treatment so it was at that 

point five years after the surgery there 

about that I started to have thoughts 

about changing back that's my student ID 

from LSU and so now swimming at LSU I 

had a really big Adam's apple heavy brow 

Ridge a pretty big jaw  

19mn 

this is the idea after I had SRS surgery 

and when I was transitioning back to 

male in Louisiana 

that's the driver's license I got I had 

a lot of other pictures from that period 

but one day when I was sitting in my 

office looking at the pictures of me 

back during this seven-year period seven 

eight years as being female 

it was so discouraging that I wasted so 

much my life in this particular period 

doing all of this that just in the state 

that I was in I erased all of the 

pictures that I had off of the computer 

and destroyed the pictures of me from 

that period to try to erase that period 

of my life with God's help I went 

through the change and I went back to 

being male so I went through that 

20mn 

surgery and on the backside of it I was 

in so much pain and so much discomfort 

and read a gret at that surgery more 

than the first SRS surgery that I had 

and then when he took the bandages off 

of my stomach to show me the skin graft 

I was almost horrified at it to me it 

was gross but it was by then surgery and 

the paperwork that the surgeon gave me 

sand and when I had the surgery done 

initially he gave me the paperwork then 

said okay I've been surgically changed 

to male I'm 60 years old there's no 

reason for me after a lifetime of being 

in transition to go and start living 

dressing as a man anymore 

there's there's there's no there's no 

there's no benefit in it but there is a 

21mn 

benefit and my standing before an 

audience of young kids in college who 

are considering this path and saying to 

them okay I'm the real deal I started 

living when as a woman when I was 20 

I've lived 40 years of my life I had 

breast augmentation I've had genital 

surgery I've had 40 years of hormones 

all of it has not made my life any 

better it's never solved the problem you 

break your your left leg you go into a 

doctor's office and under the 

transsexual rule of medical treatment 

they say this is your new normal and 

we're going to break your right leg too 

I think it's safe to say that when 

somebody has been cross-dressed 

and affirmed physically abused and 

sexually abused that psychotherapy is 

the most needed therapy not hormones in 

surgery when I met Rachel I was already 

legally a man again 

22mn 

hey baby doll how would you day her and 

her daughter came over to my house for 

Fellowship of Christian Athletes meeting 

and it was there that I first met her 

and that was in 2010 and from there I 

invited her for coffee I didn't know 

what that meant so I asked one of my 

classmates what does that mean one of my 

younger classmates so so she said well 

that's a safe way for asking for a date 

her trying to meet up with somebody I 

shared with her my path and what had 

happened  

23mn 

and how I was and at that time 

she said okay let's be friends we had 

shared the same interest like what I was 

saying we both like doing especially 

swimming but triathlons were liked 

hiking I don't know I can't I know he 

will say he remembered some time we went 

on a hike and we sat down for a rest and 

bench and I passed that close to him and 

put my head on his shoulder and it was 

at that point I knew our relationship 

with changing and that it was okay for 

me to start pursuing Rachel in a 

romantic way and I did 

excellent you're good the intimacy 

between Rachel and me with me being 

surgically altered I cannot come to an orgasm 

24mn 

so Rachel and I we enjoy intimacy 

all right in that wonderful fresh air 

fresh air is good it is beautiful and 

I'm praying for a little bit more rain 

because if you notice up here the green 

is starting to turn back to brown 

he asked me pretty soon after a few 

months if I'd marry him I think I 

thought about it for not too long maybe 

a week or two and responded yes my older 

daughter said it probably best is she 

wanted they wanted me to be happy 

and I knew I was going to change back 

but the big moment came when I was 

praying and the Lord Jesus appeared to 

me as a vision in the prayer as though I 

25mn 

could touch him just like I could touch 

anybody here and he came and reached 

down to me with his hands and picked me 

up and said you're now safe with me 

forever and it was at that moment that 

my life changed in a split-second look 

at this I'm healthy many of the people 

who've gone through this before me are 

dead they're alcoholics they're still 

struggling with their identity and I'm 

alive and well and healthy and married 

for 21 years to my wife that's that's 

redemption restoration and I'm helping 

other people what other thing that's 

better in life when you're reaching out 

and helping other people with their life 

do you pay I love you did you taste it 

26mn 

it is feel pretty 

I'm still pretty tasty 

I am so happy I am the way I am now even 

though I have problems I have a choice 

to let my problems I burden me or to 

look up to see each day as a beautiful 

day and just to enjoy life in his hands 

he's got you and me baby in his hands 

you 

Anglais (générés automatiquement)